What to Say to a Friend Who Lost Their Brother
People ask the states this question time and again: What should I say to someone who'southward grieving? They ask hoping there is an piece of cake reply or checklist, just I have bad news, those things don't be.
We recently asked WYG readers about the best and worst things anyone has said to them in their grief, hoping for some specific examples that nosotros might then be able to offer equally guidance to all those seeking answers. And though they provided some amazing insight, things still remain – well – complicated.
In fact, nosotros plant that some of the Verbal Same PHRASES were listed on both the best and worst listing. Arggg! Why is this so tricky?
Well, we've said it before and nosotros'll probably say it a one thousand thousand more times – What feels right and helpful for one person may exist all wrong for another. Also, timing can make all the difference, and then y'all may just have the bad luck of picking the wrong moment. Or, you might be the right person to say something to ane friend or family member, but the wrong person to say it to some other. Eleanor made a super graphic about this over in the post of the 64 Worst Things Ever Said to a Griever, so make certain you check that out if yous missed it.
In instance that isn't enough of a disclaimer, earlier we dive into the list of "best things," you can watch the video below for some of our elementary tried and true tips. These won't necessarily guarantee that you say the "right" thing, but they are a adept place to start.
As for those "best things" that we're shared with us – well – you'll see that sometimes the items on this listing aren't specially specific. These suggestions are ofttimes general statements or ways of being.
We think this is worth noting because people often fixate on having the "right" words to make someone feel better, but often the best thing you can do has nothing to do with what y'all say, simply how you maintain a supportive presence. Then, without farther ado . . .
ane."In that location are no words."
2. "I will travel to yous and stay with you several days."
3. "Yous can talk to me about your mum whenever you want – in 5, 10, thirty years."
4. "Your grief-reactions are normal/advisable."
5. "You aren't going crazy"
half-dozen. "Tell me more about your mother"
vii. Someone gave me a very sincere compliment on how I've handled raising my kids equally a unmarried mother a few years after my husband died. Meant the world to me to hear it. It's a lonely journey. I needed that heave.
8. "I'm merely actually sorry you've had to go through this." She kept her gaze into my eyes as I sobbed… It was so powerful merely being "witnessed."
9. "Your Dad was a wonderful man."
10. "Learn to alive in acceptance of the loss, not in spite of the loss."
11. "She's just fabricated a change of address"
12. "Grief has no expiration appointment."
13. "Information technology's okay to have bad days because it reminds y'all how much you dear them and the skillful days remind yous they're correct there with you."
14. "Just talk about your son whenever y'all feel similar."
15. " You don't have to talk. I will only sit beside you."
16. My 81-year-former Father drove quite a distance to just sit with me and as he sat listening to me completely fall apart he reached over and put his arm around me and quietly said, "Please know this is only temporary. You lot will become to stop raising him one day." Then he said, "I will get there before you and I will acquit your letters to him."
17. "We've asked your colleagues and they have donated enough paid time off for yous to take the time you need."
xviii. "Nosotros were just talking about him terminal night."
xix. "We remember him and speak of him frequently."
twenty. "When you lot feel that she's with you lot, know that she really is."
21. "She is never far abroad."
22. "Permit me know if I tin can help."
23. "I'g sorry for your loss."
24. When someone tells yous they are at that place for you lot, brings yous flowers or condolement nutrient, or your best friend comes over after you've told her not to (considering y'all didn't want to be a bother) because she knows you that well – those are the types of things that brand a difference.
25. "I was really mad at God when I found out."
26. "Information technology f#&rex sucks."
27. "We won't forget him"
28. "He was such a special child."
29. "I don't know what to say but I tin can heed."
30. "He would be proud of you."
31. "I am praying for you and will always be."
32. "I love you lot."
33. "Thank you for giving united states the well-nigh beautiful, generous, loving person we've ever known."
34. "We loved her like she was one of the family unit."
35."You've been a proficient dad to them."
36. When my Mom passed, a good friend of mine looked me in the eye and, with such love and concern, said "I am worried virtually you. I think you should consider grief therapy." I did so because of her genuine business and courage to say that to me at the time
37. "One day you will be talking about Jessica and a smile will come to your confront get-go before a tear."
38. The best thing was from a chaplain who gave me permission to be mad as hell and instead of asking 'Why me?' asking 'Why not me?'
39. My mom made me socks and a hat for my infant gone-as well-shortly in pregnancy. She said, "Every babe deserves to be celebrated, no matter how long they are with us."
40. "A office of your loved ane lives in you lot and all those he loved."
41. "Be as kind to yourself as you lot are to anybody else."
42. I received a card from a one-time higher classmate of my married man. In the menu, she wrote nearly how proud my husband had been of me and how happy I had made him. She wrote that every fourth dimension their paths crossed over the years that he always spoke so highly of me. She was in awe of how proud he was to have me equally his wife.
43. "Y'all volition never get 'over it', but you will get through information technology."
44. "I can meet by these pictures how much you loved each other. She must have known every day she was loved."
45. "There is no right or incorrect way to grieve. Your life has been changed forever."
46. "You're allowed to feel and exist exactly equally you lot are because this is your experience and no i else's."
47. "I wouldn't be alive today if your dad hadn't helped me become sober by giving me a reason to be sober."
48. The best thing is when someone says, "I remember…" and so goes on to share a memory of the person you lot've lost.
49. "I cannot possibly sympathize how you feel. But I'm here".
50. When I told a friend my heart is cleaved she said, "I will lend you mine til yours has mended."
51. "It'south okay not to exist okay."
52. "Look for signs. He will show you he is with you." [from another grieving mom]
53. "He/she is with you always, and is proud of you for the style you lot live your life."
54. I love when someone hears a song that reminds them of him and they reach out to tell me!
55. "Come rest a minute. Let'south talk about and remember all those sweetness memories. Your dad was a not bad human and father".
56. "We'll get through this together."
57. "Now yous've got someone up there watching out for yous."
58. "It's okay to hurt. Don't hold back your tears."
59. "I have no words, this just sucks."
lx. "What the F*^k? How can this be?"
61. "He was then loved and my life is better because he was in information technology."
62. "You are a good mother and his death with never alter that"
63. "You are not moving on you are moving forwards."
64. The woman cleaning out my father's admittedly vile condo, when I admitted how embarrassing I plant the state of his living infinite and apologized to her said, "I don't judge. Everyone has dissimilar priorities. He was clearly a wonderful father who was securely loved."
What would you add to the listing of best things to say to someone grieving? Leave a comment with the best affair someone said to you in your grief or a full general tip yous have about how to back up someone grieving.
Source: https://whatsyourgrief.com/what-should-i-say-to-someone-grieving/
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